[ i need to... ]

... go to new york city.

or just somewhere that's not here or home.

btw, preacher boyfriend just pissed me off really bad by trying to diss Jay Z.

"what's with that post about jay z? you know he talks about God not being able to save people!"

(i'm going to pretend it didn't happen. it was just...ignorance. i wanted to vomit. this is what happens when things are taken out of context, and people don't fucking read)

somedays...

i think it's time for a change.

but what would i do? i couldn't go through with it.

-----

i visited my fiction writing professor from last semester today. he's really nice guy and he's smart, plus he has idea of what it's like to try to do something career-wise to make a parent happy. i showed him the piece i wrote about my grandma, and as always, he was really supportive of my writing, even going so far as to say that the last piece barely needed revision. he's laid back and creative, but he had the brain power to be something like...an accountant or a mathematician. he liked writing and teaching. that's what he does now - and he does it well.

i mean, writing - it's something that i like to do - even though i'm not always 100% confident with it. but i don't piss out creativity. it takes work.

i feel that in order to get the shit straight in my head, i have to go somewhere.

...run off for a little bit.

get it?