[ day 3. 11:31 a.m. ]

i've decided that the beatles' abbey road album is my theme for this spring break. when i was younger, it was an album i didn't really care much for. maybe i thought it was weird/i didn't understand it (if there actually is anything to be understood by the musical genius of lennon & mccartney). but now - i've been listening to it non-stop since i left school. it's dirty and sweet in all the right places, and just silly in others.

we went to cheesecake factory for ma's birthday yesterday. my dad commented on how he thinks i'm getting too thin. the shadows under my eyes are telling me that i'm getting old/tired. this is too soon - but what can i do? i ended up drinking coffee instead of alcohol. mostly because my dad was sitting right in front of me when i ordered my drink.

yesterday afternoon...preacher boyfriend and i went to williamsburg to go visit his dad. i spend most of the afternoon struggling to keep up with his little brother on super mario on the nintendo wii while le boyf was taking a test in his dad's office. his dad was really nice - made us dinner and talked with me most of the afternoon. his stepmom was the wonderfully absent super-bitch.

today - i got up at 7:15 a-freaking-m to take my grandma to a doctor appointment, then took her to 3 (count 'em) different drug stores so she could buy adult diapers and osteo bi-flex on sale. she bought me candy, so it was ok.

all the while - i still have an entire list of things that i have to do. my windshield has to be replaced due to a growing crack. i have to do my taxes. study (EW NO NO!). gyno appointment tomorrow.

i want a cigarette. just one.

i'm tense, and i have a headache. this is not a break. i don't know what this is. but it is not a break.

oh - and my roommate really pissed me off. i told her all the back in december that the boyfriend was visiting in APRIL for cherry blossom. he was only going to visit once the entire fucking semester, and it just happens to be the same weekend that her boyfriend is going out of town so she NEEDS the room. she won't ask any of her friends if she can stay with them. she just flat out tells me that i have to 'look into an alternative.'

this is the part where i start breaking things.

i don't have the money for a hotel. i don't want a fucking hotel if i can stay in my room for FREE. besides - i'm the one who CLEANS the damn place.

whatever. i'm done with it. i don't know where i'm going to live next year - but it's going to be a single. and it's going to be somewhere where she is NOT. i'm sick of her fucking up every weekend that rob visits even though it's only ONCE a semester. it's not my fault she doesn't have any damn friends.

on top of all this - she has the AUDACITY to ask if i'm going to buy a new microwave for the place.

fucking idiot.

[ day 1. spring break 2010. ]

in list format since it's 1 a.m., and i'm tired:

1) i hate my little sister a.k.a. fuckingcumslutwhoreskankbitch.

2) as of right now, my grandma and my boyfriend are the only two people i can stand.

3) my parents suck. repeat. my parents suck.

4) i think i want a puppy someday, but i am an original cat person.

5) my cat has a lot of gas.

6) little caesar's pizza isn't too awful for being so cheap.

7) i've spent at least 9+ hours doing something church related today. this isn't all due to the preacher b/f. damn catholic parents.

8) fuck me - i need a drink.

9) they have daily buses running from here to nyc. i've been tempted more than once today to just take a trip alone to get.the.hell.away.

10) i had originally planned to get up and drive to the beach to watch the sunrise to kick off spring break. i ended up talking to ma really late instead about life.

11) going to cheesecake factory in the morning for ma's 78th birthday. then williamsburg to visit rob's dad + stepmom. it's going to be a greatfml day with more family.

12) in order to get through tomorrow, i don't know if i should be drunk or over-caffeinated.

13) sleep.

14) um. her majesty's a pretty nice girl, but she doesn't have a lot to say.